Friday, May 15, 2009

My Curse

Yes that is right a bird just pooped on my head. So, by 1 o'clock today I have already showered twice. All I did was take a moment from working upstairs at my desk to go just outside of my garage to spray paint some picture frames so they could be drying while I was working. My boss called me, so while I was on the phone with him and his wife (who are awesome by the way) a bird poops on my head. I would have loved to have screamed but I keep it in. They were wondering if I would be able to come out to there house to work for a bit... well luckily we decided against it (no I did not tell them I got bombed by a bird) I was able to shower. Don't worry I was gagging myself while trying to get the poo out, I do not like gross things, like spiders, bird poop, unknown nastiness on my floor (maybe that is why i always have shoes on). Yuck. For example while in Guatemala my rain jacket saved my life because every night (except for the night on the island in the most amazing hotel ever) I slept with it tight around my face so no bugs would get me (there weren't any bugs/spiders in our hotel rooms) but it made me feel better!


It has not been my week, let me explain.

I decided to be a nice sister and make us some dinner last night. While it was cooking Amanda and I went and worked out, took our cars and washed them and then went to the grocery store for a few things. While parking my car at Albertson's (staying true to the Idaho made company) instead of putting the car into park and turned the windshield washer fluid and blades on, spray my newly cleaned car.

When we got home (we were hurrying to get the food out of the oven so it wasn't burned and to watch the season finally of Grey's Anatomy over at Wylie's) and was trying to grab all of the grocery bags (Amanda had to park the gator out front because the dude two townhomes down was washing his car and blocking her parking spot so she wasn't there to help me) when oh what happens (apparently one of the bags was breaking) and our newly boughten salsa drops out of the car and onto the cement. It sprays everywhere, all over my shower and foot. Wylie and Amanda thought it was funny, I did not I was a little mad, okay really really mad. So, Amanda has to go back to the store to get more for dinner. Bye bye 3 dollars!

Oh and the other day I showered just before we went to the Bee's game. In Van Den Akker cruiser the seat belt broke so Wylie fixed it and glued it. Just my luck before the game some of the glue ended up in my mouth... how we don't know how or why? Maybe I was licking the seat belt... Then while the three of us squished on the bench coming home (it was cold) I let Amanda sit in the middle because I am a nice older sister (only 1 minutes who cares). So, I get it in my hair. Lovely I can smell it all night long. So I take another shower. This week has been a major showering week for me. My friends in P-town who only shower once a week sometimes (you know who you are) I beat your number of showers a month by 3 times as many this week for me.

I have also been trying to fix a few things around our place, like my drawer in the bathroom, I can't do it, so I have to call Wylie to fix it. I have never hung a mirror before (a big mirror that is) and so our new mirrors are just sitting on the floor.

If I had a husband this is what he would be doing right now:
1. Hanging my mirrors for me (I have 4 that need to be hung plus many other things)
2. He would be sanding down my bookshelf which I started by hand and painting it (along with a dressor I saw at a garage sale which I want really bad but diy projects are clearly not my thing)
3. Fixing my shower head (while washing the poop out of my hair I noticed it was leaking and spraying straight towards the ceiling, I don't want mold in my new place)
4. Fixing the kitched drawer that falls downwards because whoever installed the drawer was an idiot
5. Shooting the bird that pooped on my head (apparently they live on the roof above Amanda's room, I have declared war on them)
6. Rubbing my back (it hurts from all of this stress of being pooped on, dropping salasa all over me and my shoes, having to bend over to kill some ants, our place is only 2 years old why are all of these things going wrong!)
7. Clean the kitchen floor because I do not want to, I feel like all I have been doing this last week is cleaning

Did I mention while writing this I can hear the sweet birds chirping from up on the roof? Yes, its true. Anyone have a fake owl I can have? I make kill myself getting on the roof to put it up there, but one will be going up.

I have declared war on the birds, and I am not cleaning for 2 days and hanging mirrors I give up, I will not do it, I will just squat to look at my self. Did I mention I have been sleeping on the floor for the last 8 months...

1 comment:

  1. So sorry for your troubles this week...but you my dear are hilarious! Oh, and I love the part about "just squatting to look at yourself."

    ReplyDelete